I was the first person to get a Starbucks coffee with the new logo

Hi suckahs! Today I had the distinct honor to be the first person that you know to purchase a Starbucks coffee with their new logo. You didn't beat me, and even though you probably are pretending you don't care --- you do care very much because being second or 1,000,000th makes you "less than", which is just short of being a loser per se (a legal term). However you slice it...the world is leaving you behind. But it's not your fault. You just catch on to things too late. I won't be so bold as to say that this is the reason why your life has not turned out the way you had hoped, but the Starbucks logo is certainly symbolic of a downward trend in your life that could have been averted had you purchased a Starbucks coffee with the new logo. Do you like the new logo? It doesn't care what you think because you missed the boat already.